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Saturday, November 8, 2008

♥ darkest secret :(

written after the 3 days camping. 

now is the time. and we're together now.binded by his love and not......mine. I'm still into him. to m. a part of me still belongs to him.and maybe not only him. also once to bg. first, let me discuss my biggest secret.with him.with bg.

It has been a year now since we started texting each other. it has been a year now since we developed that secret feelings for each other. we had an unforgivable affair.unforgivable to my friends and to his friends. this feelings, issue and event was buried for a long time now in me. I thought I have moved on already, but i guess when this issue was unlocked again, and I started to be confused again with those past feelings I had with him. but i wouldn't let that happen again, not know that i'm with adrian and he has moved on already, i guess, with c. but still the strings i made with him was still uncut. I loved him. i just can't admit to myself that i once love him despite the fact that our relationship is not right because there is another one out there,who will be hurt or is hurting a lot.  
I just want to say sorry for putting your relationship with c at stake.i hope you are happy with her right now just as i'm so unhappy with all these things going on. i just want you to know that i won't take back the things i said to you. all those things came from my heart even though it was mixed with fear. i once loved you and only if you knew that I had the greatest time of my life when there was you and me. and i miiss our textbonding so much. I miss the way you treat me in text, those sweet things that we shared (and i hoped that i didnot delete it in my cp) i just hope that you didn't consider what we had as a mistake that you so much regret.  . i hope that all the things that you said to me were true, that you love me. i just hope that you felt the same way too, the feeling i had for you was real:(so close that we were unstoppable. but god already made plans for us. we had our choice, to end our relationship or continue it with fear and conscience. and we chose to end our relationship. 

i meant what i said in all those times that we were still together.


i wish i could turn back time. with you. 


but it's finally over for the three of us. and the beginning of me and aid :/


this secret is kept in my heart.
forever.

(i'll just continue another chapter of my darkest secrets on my next post.)

I AM JHEMA.
8:14 PM


♥ Flashbacks. ;



      I'm no superman. Just your wonderwoman. bites.

      - simple-minded,secretive but talkative, nerdy but knows how to have fun, sporty but a bit girly, sleepy head but works a lot when it comes to school chores, dreams high but afraid to fall.
      - Favorite Quotations: Nothing happens unless first a dream.
      - Favorite Books: Harry Potter Series, Christy Miller Series, some educational books, The Da Vinci Code, Sidney Sheldon Books--Master of the Game, The Stars Shine Down, Rage of Angels, Doomsday Conspiracy, Nothing Lasts Forever, The Stranger in the Mirror; Philippa Gregory books- The Constant Princess, The Other Boleyn Girl, The Boleyn Inheritance, The Gift by Danielle Steel; Twilight Saga, Dan Brown--The Da Vinci Code, Angels And Demons
      - Favorite Movies: The Notebook, The Proposal, The Ugly Truth, Devil Wears Prada, The Other Boleyn Girl, Moulin Rouge, Harry Potter Series (esp. Goblet of Fire), A walk to remember, Anastasia,
      - Favorite TV Shows: Phil of the Future; Discovery Channel and NatGeo. What not to Wear. Tyra Banks Show, Oprah & Ellen also; Grey's anatomy, Smallville, Heroes, Gossip Girl, One tree hill, Mythbusters, House
      - College student at Highline Community College
      - Someday I'm gonna save your life with my hands :))


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